The Noble Path: Why Laziness is misunderstood
I need to tell you a simple truth. Today, let me tell you that you were fooled. All that insistence on hard work, all that persistence on productivity—everything was just to turn you into rat-racing morons. You were told that hard work will give you freedom, that hard work will make you self-sufficient, all that propaganda just to make you work every day.
The truth is far simpler and easier. The answer was right under your noses, and on your beds: Laziness. That’s right, hard work doesn’t solve problems; it creates them. The solution? Don’t work hard. Better? Don’t even work, and all the problems will go poof!
I know it will be hard for the hardworking fools to understand the profundity of this truth. Their minds are too exhausted—too full of urgent tasks and caffeine—to grasp simple ideas. So let me make it easier for your tired minds to see how laziness can grant you salvation, and how hard work is ruining your life.
Laziness Saves the Planet: Why Hard Workers Start Wars
Ever wondered why wars happen?
It starts with a hardworking idiot, filled with caffeine-induced passion, waking up early in the morning and realizing that he has too much time to spend, and what better way to spend time than to kill and plunder? So, with all that unwanted energy, he tells his hardworking followers that we deserve more. He yells, “We are better than every other nation, every other country, every other man.” The peasants believe the loud, stupid talk, and what do they do? They start working harder. They build the tanks. They make the bombs. They stay up late studying war strategies. They put in the effort. They go to war, they kill, and they die.
Now imagine a Lazy King, with a noble heart, layback demeanor, and eyes half open, looking to go to sleep again.
There will be no war. The noble wouldn’t wake up talking about war. He wouldn’t even wake up. He would be sleeping in bed all day long, saving himself and others from the atrocities of war. The laziness of the king just saved millions of lives, and best of all? It made the king live longer and rule longer. An act deserving of a noble peace prize.
That is what laziness brings you: lasting peace. No war. Just happiness. The rushers are the danger. The sleepers are the saviors.
Laziness Saves Your Body: Why Waking Up Early is Self-Harm
Now that we have saved the planet, let’s save you and your body from your stupidity.
You were told that waking up early will bring you fortune. Let me ask you this: Have you ever seen a fortunate donkey? They wake up early. They work harder than you ever will be able to, and what does their hard work bring them? Misfortune. Hence proved: If you wake up early, you are a donkey. If you don’t wake up early, you are not a donkey. The choice is yours.
If you have chosen to be a donkey, I don’t talk to donkeys. If you have chosen to maintain your humanity, dignity, and sleep, you are a winner. A winner who deserves to sleep more. So sleep tight, sleep right, be healthy, and always be right.
We already understand that laziness can save your life and even make you live longer. Every person is born with a limited amount of energy. The more they work, the more they spend their limited supply. Thus, they die young.
I saw the perfect proof just yesterday. The unfortunate news of an overworked employee who literally died working his ass off. His cause of death? Working. If he didn’t wake up early, didn’t rush to work, or didn’t work, he would be alive and kicking. Kicking the morons who forced him to work hard and die young.
Now, some hard-headed idiots will argue that if people don’t work, they won’t survive. They will die. I say, at least they will die happy, on their beds, not exhausted from the work. Everyone is going to die sooner or later. So better die later, without doing anything, than to die earlier with doing everything.
Laziness Saves Your Future: How to Get Rich by Resting
This brings us to the final, beautiful truth:
Look at the truly fortunate. They are enjoying the fruits of your labor, resting on their luxurious yachts with models. The keyword here is resting. They are resting because they are fortunate. You are working because you are unfortunate. So, rest, and be fortunate.
With this, I rest my case. If you want to be healthy, live longer, get rich, and avoid being a murderer, embrace laziness. Laziness will take you to the heights you never imagined. I have personally seen truly lazy people visiting heavens in every nap. You can be one of those too. You can be one of the dwellers of heavens too. So don’t be a heathen, don’t be a hard worker, because Fortune lies in Laziness.
The simple way to salvation is to stay horizontal.
And if you want to know more about laziness and procrastination, do explore our guide to procrastination. It will certainly enlighten your moroninc mind.
